初中生写的词（英语） 找错

题目

初中生写的词（英语） 找错
the girl always with long hair,and she always so graceful
In the crowd,every time I glance recognize her
but,he always with her
She told me to say hello,smiling at me
i seem to see the morning
i feel the never had the happiness
very happiness,
You know it's true
I don't care what people think
I just want to waiting for you
Waiting for you again smiling at me
I'll take you home
I play with you
I gave you song
i feel the never had the happiness
very happiness,
you gave me
Like sunshine of happiness
you gave me
happiness
I don't know how to declare
that's true,true,yeyeyeyey~e,
i feel the never had the happiness
very happiness,you gave me
求改正 -

答案

the girl always with long hair,and she always so graceful
错误原因:缺少谓语动词,也被称作限定动词
改正:the girl is always with long hair,and she is always so graceful
In the crowd,every time I glance recognize her
这句话中,every time I glance是时间状语,它只是作为整个句子的一个成分,所以这句话少主语,应该再加个I,另外可以调整下语序
改正：In the crowd,I recognize her every time I glance
but,he always with her
错误原因同第一句
改正：but,he always stays with her.
She told me to say hello,smiling at me
这句话表达意思不明确,如果楼主想表达“她朝我微笑并跟我打招呼”,建议这样写：Once,she said hello to me,smiling at me.其中smiling是分词形式,它可以替代两个并列的小句,这个句子= she said hello to me and smile at me.但是第一种写法更好
i seem to see the morning
如果是叙述一件已经发生过的事情,应该用过去式,把seem改为seemed
i feel the never had the happiness
feel改为 have felt.整个句子调整为 I have never felt so happy.
very happiness
这一句可以不要了,没什么意义
You know it's true
I don't care what people think
这句话是正确的
I just want to waiting for you
记住搭配：want to do sth.
所以改为：I just want to wait for you
Waiting for you again smiling at me
waiting 改为 wait,这里不能用分词形式
I'll take you home
I play with you
I gave you song
以上三个句子写在一起：I'll take you home,play with you and sing for you.
i feel the never had the happiness
这个句子调整为：I have never felt so happy before
very happiness,
you gave me
Like sunshine of happiness
以上三个句子表达的意思为：你给我的快乐像是阳光.调整为：
the very happiness you gave me is like sunshine which can bright my life.我又润色了一下：你给我的快乐像是阳光,照亮了我的生活
you gave me
happiness
看的出这是一首情诗,语法错误都已经修正了,但文采还要加强.