我写了一小作文,请朋友们帮忙修改

题目

我写了一小作文,请朋友们帮忙修改
You are not going back home for the summer holiday.Write an approximately 100-120 words letter to your mother about your summer holiday plan.
1.Tell your mother why and how you got this plan.
2.Tell your mother what you will do.
以下是在下写的,请朋友们帮忙修改修改,thanks a lot!
Dear mother,
Summer holiday is coming!I'm sorry to tell you that i'm not going back home even if i miss you so mouch.Because of the high cost,i think i should to work to earn some money and reduce your burden.
My plan is to work as an assistant in a small company near my school.You know,the tuition is too high,and i have grown up so i have the capacity to work.This ont only can help me to increase knowlege but also can benefit for me to look for a job later.Hope you'll understand my decision.
Love.

答案

太汉语式英语了
有几个建议给你
第一要细化英语里的一些同义词的分别.high cost是指"高消费"吗?应该用high consumption比较正确.
第二尽量避免使用长句子.容易导致理解错误.
第三不要使用错别词.比如mouch--much,knowlege--- knowledge .
第四注意语法.even if 是“即使” 其意义在于假设某事物存在（例如说“即使你是对的”,其实你可能是错的）
even though 则有“尽管”之义 其意义在于已经承认某事物存在（例如说“尽管你是对的”,其实你是真的对的）
这里应该用后者
第五注意介词的用法.
另外建议你多做一些英语阅读
把语感培养好了写作文就手到擒来了.加油!