my first semester.

题目

my first semester.
I am a Chinese student,when I finished my high school course,I was come to
Korea to learn Korean.Then I came to Chung-Ang University.
I still clearly remember my first semester here.In September 2010,I started a
now period of my life,my university life.I am happy to come here and I also
worried for my first university life,because I know nothing about here.
School was help foreign students to chooses our classes,there were two
specialized courses teaching with English.I am very worried for this,though when
I was in high school to English,but in the past one years I have been learning the
Korean language and speak Korean,I almost forgot all of English.So I was very
nervous also very afraid of class.
Now,this is my 3 semester.I still couldn't speak English well,but I am trying
to learn and remember more words.Although English is my third language,but it
is very important for me,because there are many important books in my major
are English original.

答案

看出来你的英语不怎么样,努力吧.
首先语法选择上有很大问题,讲过的事情要全篇用过去式,只有在描述现在所想所发生的事采用现在时,时态要一致.第二although和but绝对不能连用,连词和句式的选择上很有问题.第三断句有问题,不知道什么时候该结束一句话.第四选词不准确,全篇大量中式英语.
对以上几方面我给你改通顺了,以后你要多写,多找同学帮你看,改（当然要英文写作好的）,多看些阅读什么的增加语感,祝你好运了.
I am a Chinese student.When I graduated from my high school,I went to
Korea to learn Korean and chose to study in Chung-Ang University.
The memoey of first semester here is still fresh to me now.In September 2010,my life turned into a new page--my university life.I was happy that I could be here,but I was also
worried about not adapting to the different university life.Since I knew nothing about this place,I always endeavoired to get used to everything here..
School was helpping foreign students to chooses their classes,there were two
courses teaching English.I was very worried about this.Although
I had studied English in high school,in the past one year I was busy learning the
Korean and forgot practicing English.So I was very
nervous also very afraid of taking classes.
Now,this is my 3rd semester.I still couldn't speak English fluent,but I am trying
to learn and remember more vocabularies.Although English is my third language,it
is very important for me for the season that there are many important books in my major
are English-written.