朋友们,帮我改作文好吗?

题目

朋友们,帮我改作文好吗?
In China,most people would save money for several reasons.Only a few people think it is absolutely unnecessary to do so.However,I would open an account at bank and save enough money for retirement.I concern who can take care of us if we are sick or be in another unexpectable,money-needing situation after retirement.Thus,I strongly recommend people to save money before retirement.
Opponent would argue that we should never worry about that.Because the government has already established medicine system and welfare system to ensure we can living without any previous saving money.Another reason is that our offspring would not leave us when we get in trouble.Therefore why we have to save money when we are working?The best way is to use the money improving our life quality and providing our children better education.Most of those who keep this view are optimism.
However,I am one of others who always make plan before things happen.If we are sick,and need an amount of m

答案

第一段： 第三句：the bank 第四句：I am concerned about who.unexpected.第二段： 第一句：the opponent 第二句：we can live without any previous saving of money. 第四句：why do we 第五句...