雅思大作文 求指正

雅思大作文 求指正

题目
雅思大作文 求指正
Nowadays,distance-learning programs are such common thing for us (the study material by past,by interest),but some people argue that courses can never be taken as good as these by attending college or university in person.To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Distance-learning is pervasive and persuasive for its efficiency and low cost,while in most counties,face to face taught by teachers is still the main trend of study.Should we alter the means of learning and replace the tele-education of the classroom?From most people,the answer is definitely no and so do I.
To begin with,even though with the advent of distance learning,more students can study at home and their schedules become flexible due to they can book the class they need,teachers can provide us with something special which cannot be obtained by distance-learning.From my experience,the matters I learn from my teacher are not only knowledge,but also about how to be a useful social member,how to confront with troubles,how to cheer up even when you fail for thousands of times.All the thing above can only be learned from the experience we get along with our teacher.Moreover,we are also influenced gradually by teachers.Socrates generated the novel philosophy thinking from his teacher,Pluto.King Alexander learned the way to manage a country from Aristotle.All the celebrities have a teacher who can enlighten their mind and become their guider,partner.In this sense,teachers are more than an individual who imparts knowledge.
From another side,tele-education can only work on the computer.For students,sitting a long-time in front of the computer and watching the screen preoccupationally may cause physical hazards,such as eyestrain,wrist and neck pain.Moreover,studying alone,without the company of peers,the child has lost a golden chance to enhance their social skill and they may be hard to be sociable,extroverted and generous in adulthood.
What I want to say is that distance-learning and schooling should never be contradictory to each other,they can work mutually.Distance-learning is a complementary path to promote students' academic performance,whereas schooling is the predominate way of studying.
答案

Good writing, structure!


Nowadays, distance-learning programs are such common thing for us (the study material by past, by interest), but some people argue that courses can never be taken as good as these by attending college or university in person.


To what extent do you agree or disagree? (This is not necessary as you are not making presentation to raise listeners' attention)

Distance-learning is pervasive and persuasive for its efficiency and low cost, while in most counties, face to face taught by teachers is still the main trend of study.


Should we alter the means of learning and replace the tele-education of the classroom? From most people, the answer is definitely no and so do I.


To begin with, even though with the advent of distance learning, more students can study at home and their schedules become flexible due to they can book the class they need, teachers can provide us with something special which cannot be obtained by distance-learning.



From my experience, the matters I learn from my teacher are not only knowledge, but also about how to be a useful social member, how to confront with troubles, how to cheer up even when you fail for thousands of times. 


All the thing above can only be learned from the experience we get along with our teacher.


Moreover, we are also influenced gradually by teachers.


Socrates generated the novel philosophy thinking from his teacher, Pluto.


King Alexander learned the way to manage a country from Aristotle.


All the celebrities have a teacher who can enlighten their mind and become their guider, partner.

In this sense, teachers are more than an individual who imparts knowledge.


From another side, tele-education can only work on the computer.


For students, sitting a long-time in front of the computer and watching the screen preoccupationally may cause physical hazards, such as eyestrain, wrist and neck pain. 


Moreover, studying alone, without the company of peers, the child has lost a golden chance to enhance their social skill and they may be hard to be sociable,extroverted and generous in adulthood. 


What I want to say is that distance-learning and schooling should never be contradictory to each other, they can work mutually. (the two forms of learning can only coexist, they cannot work mutually as they don't have lives)


Distance-learning is a complementary path to promote students' academic performance, whereas schooling is the predominate way of studying.


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