英语翻译

题目

英语翻译
北京历来都重视环境保护、重视北京的空气质量,政府以及环保部门也作了一定大力改善北京奥运会期间的包括空气质量在内的环保要求.The air quality as one of the significant indicator measuring a city’s environment quality has always been the focal topic of Beijing Olympics.Beijing has always attached much importance to the environmental protection as well as the air condition all through the ages that the government and the environmental protection section also made some environmental requirements including regarding to improving the air condition in Beijing during the Olympic Games.
我的翻译.想请教一下有没有更好的,或者能够指出目前存在的不足.THX

答案

as well as 改为especially 会不会好一点呢?因为我觉得空气质量在环保范围之内,用表并列的as well as好像不太合适.environmental requirements之前可不可以加个strict呢?体现“大力改善”.整体上翻译的很棒,嘿嘿