帮忙看一下这段英文语法是否正确

题目

帮忙看一下这段英文语法是否正确
xxx Ltd.is a leading provider of IT solutions and services,ranging from system integration and IT consulting,to software solutions and software platforms,and outsourced operations,to the banking industry in China .
主要是把这一下这两句缩减到250字符以下：
xxx Ltd.is a leading provider of IT solutions and services to the banking industry in China .The Company focuses on offering a comprehensive suite of IT solutions and services to Chinese banks,ranging from system integration and IT consulting,to software solutions and software platforms,and outsourced operations.

答案

xxx Ltd.is a leading provider of IT solutions and services,ranging from system integration ,IT consulting,software solutions ,software platforms,outsourced operations,to the banking industry in China .
原文and太多