30分帮帮忙检查英语文章

题目

30分帮帮忙检查英语文章
看咯这篇有语法错误么,帮我改出来,谁改对了就给30分,不食言
Help?Happy
Do you hear an idiom?Give one a rose,and you hands are sweet-smelling!
From this,I write a story!Please listen:
One day,I go to the forest and I want play in there.I meet a dog.What’s your name?I ask.Lucky!Wow,a nice name.Why does anybody call you lucky?Aha,let me take a story to you.
Two years ago,I’m only one years old.And I have a bad sick.Many doctors say:maybe you’ll die,or have the sick every time.I know this.I usually cry.I have no happy time.One day,a helpful sheep doctor tells me:I can help you.I know,many doctors have a magic medicine,but they don’t want give it for other animals.I have a,too.I want give you and I can make you better.Relay?Yes!Spend two month ago,I’m better again.So I have a new name:Lucky.I thank her a lot.And she only says:maybe I must do it,because I’m a doctor.I’m very happy.
Many animals know this thing,and they call the doctor kind Angel!
Give one a rose,and you hands

答案

题目应该是名词吧!
Happiness
I wrote a story.
please listen 与其不是很好,建议换为:here is the story.
既然用到了多种饮用,间接的直接的,希望能够分得更明确些.要么都加上引号,要么都指明人称.
have the sick搭配错误,应该是desease
usually cry 在这里表达错误,应该是often
后面给药有一句是i have a,too.冠词用错了,再加上连接词应该是and (well) i have one,too.
relay?拼写错误
spend two month ago,i am better again.可换为：it cost me two months to recover myself.
倒数第二段,know this thing,thing多余,删掉.
看文章,知道你写得也不容易.
就这样了,你在顺一顺语句就好了.