请大家帮我改一下英语作文!

题目

请大家帮我改一下英语作文!
Develop students' EQ in the higher education
Currently people are arguing whether students should enhance their IQ or develop EQ in the university.Nevertheless,it is obvious that EQ is becoming more and more important in the social life.Developing the EQ,people not only can get more chances to success,but also can widen the interpersonal relationship.Therefore,students in the university should pay more attention to developing EQ.
For one thing,there is a high probability that people have high EQ can achieve success.When they suffer from difficulty,they will be heart-searching immediately,not just as other people blame everyone and everything except themselves.After knowing where they make a mistake,they can make further improvements on the events.For instant,Jack Ma,the president and CEO of Alibaba Networking,has failed for 5 times before becoming a leader in IT.His determination remains as strong as ever despite all the setbacks he has encountered.
For another,people with a good sense of EQ can establish a good personal relationship with others.With a good sense of EQ,people can easily solve touchy situation and do not embarrass others.Gradually,they build up a wide networks that will provide them more opportunities.For example,Bill Gates is always happy to meet people in his daily life,so he can make a lot of friends and he does business through his social networks,such as contracting with IBM through his mother's friend,exploring Japan's market through his Japanese friend Yanxi.
However,some people support the view that students should enhance the IQ in the university.In fact,IQ is no longer the only key point for success in the 21st century.Firstly,most of the companies prefer to employ people who can live in harmony with other staff and do well in communication.Furthermore,people have high EQ can adapt to the new environment rapidly,while some people have high IQ and low EQ may be difficult for them to acclimatize themselves to the surroundings.
All in all,EQ should not be overlooked in the higher education.Only students develop their EQ persistently,they can display their capacity and do it better.Of course,IQ and EQ are of the same importance for a person's success.Higher education should encourage students to make improvement to both IQ and EQ.
有关EQ重要的文章.

答案

Develop students' EQ in the higher education
Currently people are arguing whether students should develop EQ or enhance their IQ in the university.Nevertheless,it is obvious that EQ,which is a measure of personal's adequacy in such areas as empathy,self-awareness and dealing sensitive with other people,is becoming more and more important in the social life.Developing the EQ,people can not only get more chances to success,but also widen the interpersonal relationship.Therefore,students in the university should pay more attention to developing EQ.
For one thing,there is a high probability that people have high EQ can achieve success.When they suffer from difficulty,they will be heart-searching immediately,not like some people just blaming others.When knowing where they make a mistake,they can make further improvements on the events.For instant,Jack Ma,has failed for 5 times before becoming the president and CEO of Alibaba Networking.His will remains strong despite all the setbacks he has encountered.
For another,people with a good sense of EQ usually establish a good personal relationship with others.With a good sense of EQ,people can easily solve touchy situation without troubling others.Gradually,they build up a wide networks which will provide them more opportunities.For example,Bill Gates is always happy to meet people in his daily life,and he makes a lot of friends throughout the world.He does business through his social networks,such as contracting with IBM through his mother's friend,marketing Japan through his Japanese friend Yanxi.
However,some people support the view that students should enhance the IQ in the university.As we know,IQ is no longer the only key point for success in the 21st century.Firstly,most of the companies prefer to employ people who can live in harmony with other staff and do well in communication.Furthermore,people have high EQ can adapt to the new environment quickly,while the people having high IQ and poor EQ may be difficult to acclimatize to the surroundings.
All in all,EQ should not be overlooked in higher education.Only by developing their EQ persistently,can they fully display their capacity and do it better.Of course,IQ and EQ are of the same importance for a person's success.Higher education should emphasize both on IQ and EQ.