帮忙批改下高三英语作文,马上高考了

题目

帮忙批改下高三英语作文,马上高考了
how is everyshing going with you i think i can understand how you feel .
actually ,your problem is common among us teenagers and it 's natually that you have this kind of feeling .In order to get well on with your parents ,you should keep the following in mind .
At first ,you should attach importance to the family communication and often communicate with your parents .It can bridge the gap between the parents and children .Secondly you would better exchange the place between you and your parents .In this way ,you could more understand them and they can also learn your stressful condition .What 's more ,it 's better for you to find out what you are good at and try your best to di it well .Because your parents can feel proud of your every tiny bit of progress .
I do hope my advise will be helpful to you .

答案

首先你应该检查一下你的拼写错误,这是硬伤,当然你有可能是打字的手误,第一段我觉得太中国的表达方式了,going后面应该加上on,第二段表达不错,语法与表达习惯都很通顺,第三段还是有很多小词用的有闪光点.in this way后面,more应该在understand后面,learn用得不好,建议换一个词,该段最后一句,be proud of 就可以了,加 feel太奇怪,because也很奇怪,没有这个逻辑,直接,your parents will be proud of blahblah就可以了.
最后will help you足够,没必要用形容词.
总的来说,k框架是可以的,但是用词造句不够简洁,不是用大词就好,符合自己习惯,国外表达的习惯,小词用的精确更见功力,预祝你高考成功!