帮忙看看这两句英语有没有语法错误什么滴?

题目

帮忙看看这两句英语有没有语法错误什么滴?
1.Dear teacher,thank you for illuminating my voyage of life with your own light of life.My grateful sentiments come from the bottom of my heart.
2.You are the spring shower that moistens our hearts.On the voyage of life,you have kindled the light of hope for me.What you have done enriches my mind and broadens my view.On this day I honour you sincerely.
加点分，呵呵

答案

貌似没有太大的语法错误,真是文采斐然!不过在下建议：1、改成the light of your own life.2、 grateful sentiments有点生硬,改作sentiment(that)filled with gratitude3 、shower一般指淋浴下暴雨,改成stream/brook in spring(春溪) 4、湿润的动词是moisture哦5、将you have kindled改成一般进行时,更加有情感.你很棒,请多指教哦!