英语作文,写重阳节的,请问有没有什么需要改的?

题目

英语作文,写重阳节的,请问有没有什么需要改的?
想发表一篇英语作文,请各位大大们帮我看看有没有什么要改的,写重阳节的~
Double Ninth Festival is a traditional festival of China.In the day,we often help some old people,and give them our loves.In this Double Ninth Festival,I help them all the time.
Yesterday,I went to the bus station of number 13,there is a lot of people at there,when the bus came many people ran to it,I found a seat.But soon,I saw an old woman stood near me,I thought for a moment and decided to give her my seat,I looked her and smile friendly.
“Granny,come to seat here,please.”
“Thank you,kids,you are really a good student!”
“You are welcome; this is what I should do.”
Finally,she seat happily,although my feet is so tired but my heart in this cold day is hot.I think if we often share our loves for the old people,the world will become beautifully!
我想要的是建议，不是另一篇作文哦！

答案

Double Ninth Festival is a traditional festival of China. In the day, we often help some old people, and give them our loves. In this Double Ninth Festival, I help them all the time.
Yesterday, I went to the bus station of number 13, there is（were） a lot of people at there, when the bus came （,）many people ran to（into） it, I found a seat. But soon, I saw an old woman stood near me, I thought for a moment and decided to give her my seat, I looked her and smile friendly.
“Granny, come to seat here, please.”
“Thank you, kids, you are really a good student!”
“You are welcome; this is what I should do.”
Finally, she seat（seated） happily, although my feet is（was） so tired but my heart in this cold day is（was） hot. I think（thought） if we often share our loves for the old people,the world will become beautifully（more beautiful）!
写的不错啊,记得多检查一遍,特别是语法哦!也谢谢你,我也正要写一篇关于重阳节的日记.