麻烦英语高手帮忙修改这篇文章~

题目

麻烦英语高手帮忙修改这篇文章~
Nowadays it is more and more common to using animals for experimentation purpose,duing to the development of science.But it is in the light of an expectation someone think that it is cruel and opposed,others think it is the needs of society and supported,There is no denying that the two views both have the proper sides.
First of all,for some opposers,they feel that animals also have life and heart like people,When being sliced,they can feel being in pain,when being bad mood,no doubt,they also will put into worry and upset.However it is obvious that animals should take any respect from everybody.In the second place,to opposer themselves,possessing the belief and kindness is the most important reason why they are to feel cruel about animals experiment and have a desire to protect one’s life,such as bonze,follower of a religion and those who will be sad for a long time because of killing a small ant.Human appeal to peace and friend with animals,in a sense,banning animals experiment will be the first step to come out the measure.
For some supporters,on the hand,science technology have solved many problems,including about life of people and the whole society.While animals experiment contribute a great to science’s development.Through this way,we can not only help a lot of patients to renew health in advanced medicine,but also learn of the structure of our human body,which is benefit to research that how we live longer.It pays to sacrifice a few animals.On the other hand,It is universally acknowledged that advanced medicine is for helping and saving more people,to avoid occasionally unqualified product,so every production in using process must prove that it is considerable safe to body.An advantage of using animals of doing experiment is that it reduce dangerous rate of people.
In fact,as I see it I am as a supporter,animals is important in our life,therefor,on no account can we ignore it.While ,no doubt,we play an more important role in our life.Compared with us,animals only is a right hand ,but absolutely necessarily .

答案

Nowadays it is more and more common to "using"
前面用了to,后面应该用原形use.其次,more and more 和common 用在一起,就重复了.
duing to the development of science.
这个想说什么意思?"during to"建议查英英词典,了解during 的用法.如果想说"通过科学进步"不能用during,不是地道用法.
But it is in the light of an expectation someone think that it is cruel and opposed,
不清楚为什么要用but开头,似乎和前面没有转折关系."it is in the light of"太长了,影响中心表达. "opposed"观点本身不会自己反对自己,所以这个词在这里也不恰当;如果想说有人觉得它很残忍,所以反对,建议用因果介词"therefore"
others think it is the needs of society and supported, There is no denying that the two views both have the proper sides.
第一段应该是全篇的主旨,要不赞同,要不反对,考试作文忌讳摸另两可的开头.
possessing the belief and kindness
这句没看明白
why they are to feel
用why they feel就可以了
animals experiment
animal experiments,复数用的地方不对
and have a desire to protect one’s life, such as bonze, follower of a religion and those who will be sad for a long time because of killing a small ant.
看了3次,还以为后面such as 指代是one's life. such as离指代对象太远了,容易造成混淆.
建议是,对于考试作文,如果你对句型或者单词运用没有十足把握,不要用长句.如果你的长句 平卷的看不懂,他们是不会用耐心把一个句子看3遍然后去揣摩你的意思的.后面的改天再看吧