请帮我修改一下雅思小作文,

题目

请帮我修改一下雅思小作文,
The graph reveals the requirement of electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer.The following chart describes what the electricity is used for English home in an average level.
We can clearly learn that in winter English family demand for electricity from 40,000droped to 30000units within four hours,and then went up sharply to the highest point after 14 hours.
Meanwhile,it’s decreased steadily in the first 9 hours,and after about 5 hours reached to the summit in summer.Then it’s tending to be stabled.
Through the pie chart,it’s displayed us that nearly 52.5%of the English home uses the electricity for heating rooms and heating water.The percentage of the rest three parts were almost equally in many other ways.
In conclusion,English home used the electricity in miscellaneous ways.And comparing with the two seasons curve of demand for electricity in English people daily life ,it’s quite different as well .

答案

what改in which way English familieslearn别和clearly搭配最好,clearly see就可以了.dropped不是droped应该是drop to...from...不是from...drop to..图表上最高点summit或者peak下一段语意不顺,要大改.and后面接了...