My Role model 文章纠错,用英文的 （包括两方面,1是文章构造2是语法用词之类） 要求800左右

题目

My Role model 文章纠错,用英文的 （包括两方面,1是文章构造2是语法用词之类） 要求800左右
My Role model
I have a dream,actually two dreams,which are closely related.My first dream is to go to America and learn dancing in a dancing school which is small but famous for a graduate,George Mingus who has played leading roles in the dance business.
George Mingus is from a ghetto in San Diego.He was small in his high school day,but had vitality as high as any other boys for playing basketball.He was a basketball club member.His friend in high school often said,”He can play as if he has four arms and four legs.” He could move faster than any other players then.
He was curious not just in basketball but in dancing his high school age.George asked his father if he can go to a school for dancing,but his family could not afford the school fee.He thought that he should have worked to make money for school,and stared his job as early as he graduated from high school.He found a hard but you could earn quite large money

答案

The stroy has used the narrative writting style and all in all,the structure of the passage is quite clear,except that the first paragraph is not congruent with the rest of passage as it uses the firs...