帮忙改下托福作文吧~顺便给个分~

题目

帮忙改下托福作文吧~顺便给个分~
Which approach to life do you prefer, life with change or without?
Some people enjoy staying a statble life enviroment while others would like to look forward new experience. Both have their goodness because life without change provides us a steady income, a peaceful circumstance to devolope, however, change in life may come together with unknown happness and adventure.
Life without change just like a lagoon without wave, quite even still. For example: if one chose a work that realitive unchangable such as working for a middle company in a ordinary position, he or she unlikely suffer from posibility of failure. What’s more a peaceful progress simplify people’ mind, then they have more time to apprieciate details of life. Of course seldom can we see there is any rise and fall in his or her career although change in life is unavoidable.
Therefore, I prefer chanllenge such those rise and fall actively. I believe lagoons belong to elder workers who has al

答案

0分
纯中国式英语
根本看不到native的感觉
建议：你要是比较有钱.你可以花点钱去留学
如果你是个穷光蛋,那么建议你在练练
至少把里面的病句都消除