英文自我介绍求修改

题目

英文自我介绍求修改
Hello!My name is XXX.My forename is Stephen.
I am twelve years old .And I'm in grade 7 now.
My hobby is playing table-tennis and badminton.I usually spend time on doing handwriting at my recess time.And I am a sagittarius.
There are four members in my family,They are my grandmother,fother,mother and me.
My father is a military.He works at Nanjing .My mother is a nurse.She always cooks delicious foods for us.We all like reading books.
That's all about me.Thank you for your attention.
里面肯定有很多语法错误,但我不会改,
请把修改过的正文回答给我.

答案

forename-englishname 这个不能说你用的不对,只能说不够口语化
recess—spare/free 这个也是不够口语化
They are my grandmother,fother,mother and me.
没必要加上They are my军人的话一般不常用 military,这个我认为有点倾向于指美国大兵……用soldier好了
works at 把at 改成in
Thank you for your attention.attention改成listening