谁帮我改一下托福作文?

题目

谁帮我改一下托福作文?
Some people like to work at home,whileothers prefer to work in office.Which do you prefer and why?
Our life has encountered evolutionary changes in the last few decades,so as our way of work.Due to the development of science and technology,especially the tele-communication technology,people are able to choose either work at home or workplace.Preference varied from person to person.However,I prefer to work at home for the following reasons.
First,working at home enable employees to speed more time with their families.It's not rare that at times children or a housewife complains to the dad/husband that he is so busy that the time they spent together is so scarce.The problem does exist for the busy working man who used to have to get up early to commute to workplace,and even spend a whole day there and get back home late.However,the option of working at home can solve this problem perfectly.One can choose anytime to work when staying home,thus he/she is able to arrange the time that can be shared with other members.The increase in the tie with family,on the other hand is instrumental
in improve one's efficiency.
What's more,staying at home for work is more economical and environmentally friendly.Not surprisingly,if all the employees don't have to drive a car or take a bus or subway to office,the traffic problem will be largely eased,and the pollution problem associated with emissions can be greatly alleviated as well.In addition,for the employer's part,less employers working in workplace means less office being rented.Therefore,the money saved from the rent can be used as bonus to reward the hardworking employees.
On the other hand,in the highly-developed times,technology will not be the hindrance of working at home.The widely spread and high-speed internet ensures an employee keep contact with his colleagues and boss,thus there is no difference between working in office and at home from the job's perspective.If you need some data or material from one of your colleagues,a phone call or just an e-mail is able to make it.
All in all,working at home bring much merits both for employees and the company itself,meanwhile it cause merely no bad effects when compared with traditional counterparts.Why not choose to work at home?

答案

1、First,working at home enable（enbales） employees to speed（spend） more time with their families.
2、In addition,for the employer's part,less(fewer) employers working in workplace means less office being rented.
3、On the other hand,(last but not least) in the highly-developed times,technology will not be the hindrance of working at home.没有on the one hand,哪来的on the other hand.
4、The widely spread and high-speed internet ensures an employee keep （keeps）contact with his colleagues and boss
5、麻烦最后不要反问好吗?
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