希望高手纠正一下我的英文作文

题目

希望高手纠正一下我的英文作文
汉语部分是：时间很重要.人人每天有24小时,每天有365天,一旦我们生命中的一天消逝,就再也不会回来.我们要是热爱生命,就不应该浪费时间.我们应该掌握时间.使用时间的最好办法就是好好计划时间.（本文来自高自考综合英语第一册课后习题.我想知道我的作文是否合格,哪里有错?谢谢了）
Time is valuable.Everyone has 24 hours a day.There is 365 days in a year.Once a day has gone from our lives,it will never come back. If we love life,we should not waste time and become the master of it.Make a good plan is the best way of using time.
希望了解综合英语一的朋友能给我指点迷津.谢谢了

答案

给你修改一下吧：Time is invaluable.We all have 24 hours a day,365 days a year.A past day in our life a day gone forever,and will never return.If we love life,we should not waste time and become the ma...