请改改语法 这篇文章是我的英语作文,求大侠帮我改改.

题目

请改改语法 这篇文章是我的英语作文,求大侠帮我改改.
my name is ..,i`m from Zigong city of Sichuan province,i was graduated from zigong NO.14 Vocational High school in 2009.my major is electronic.
i`m a outgoing girl,i like learning new things,i`m good at Chinese,but English is not good.my hobbies are listening to music.play game and swimming.But i can`t swim,i`m learing to swim.i don`t have much time for my hobbies,Work makes me feel busy and tired.
waiter was my first job,secoud was a office girl,the third was a sales girl.But i`m a mould engineer now,i love this job ,because let me full my life and happy.

答案

electronic 是形容词 这里应该改为 electronics 名词 电子学
a outgoing ----an outgoing
play game--playing games
work--working
waiter--waitress
second 拼写有误
a office--an office
最后一句话完全不对可改为 because it makes my life fruitful and happy