托福作文求批改

题目

托福作文求批改
Always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship between people.
Some people hold the opinion that if they cheat others,they will have advantages over others or they could take advantage from others.But I hold the opposite opinion.Always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship between people.
To begin with,no matter what relationship it is,always telling the truth is very vital.For example,always telling the truth is very important in friendship.I used to be angry with a friend Lily who always told me I looked awful.But when we separate,I realize there is nobody tell me what I truly look like.When others laugh at me,there is nobody notice me.That is why I value honest that much when I make friends with others.
Always telling the truth also goes for business relationship.Only the people who want his business exists several days will cheat their customer.In China,there is a food-safety incident happened in 2008.One of the famous milk company's milk powder was affirmed to contain a chemical element which will do harm to little baby.Later,the other famous milk companies' productions were confirmed to have more or little that kind of chemical element.This really annoyed Chinese,the Chinese milk industry came to its winter.This incident teaches us a lesson never tell lie in business relationship especially to customer.
Admittedly,nobody could tell the truth in every relationship.For example,when your workmate ask you some private question,you do not need to tell him the truth.You can tell him it is a private question you do not want to answer and this is not a lie.Sometimes we choose not to tell the patient their disease such as cancer.There are some similar situations we have to make up some lie for good intention that is why we say "always" not "every time"
For the reasons above,I think always telling the truth is the most vital in any relationship right.And I also hold the opinion that if you stick to this,you will benefit from this.
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答案

其实你的文章结构有点乱.你最好不要把telling the truth is vital作为main point,而应用main point 来论证它,而且你第二段的main point 和第一段重复了.分数Fine左右