英语高手帮我找下这段话的语病并改正过来

题目

英语高手帮我找下这段话的语病并改正过来
The 21st century is the characteristics of digital and network and information, it is a database technology as the core of the information age. But with the development of information technology, the airline ticket industry has become a highly dependent on the information industry. The rapid development of information technology not only make air ticket workers from heavy gradually manual labor, improve work efficiency, and to push forward modernization management airline industry. Modern air ticket also should have modern management system. In today's increasingly advanced science and technology, people pay more attention to travel to travel. Therefore, the airline ticket on modern management will become particularly important.
Database is the latest technology of data management, and is an important branch of computer science. Today, information resource has become an important wealth of each department, established a satisfied air ticket information processing requirements of effective information system has become an important condition airline company development. Airline ticket management system, it is the air ticket management system, the function is part of unsold tickets for all sold out and effective management of the ticket. Through this system can not only, and still can work tickets to correspond with the passenger ticket and flight condition, and may at any time to add, edit, and delete etc, make the sales staff to ticket can effectively control and management. Therefore, through the air ticket management system, the airline ticket management standardization, systematization, automation, thus greatly improve the efficiency of sales management.

答案

The 21st century is the 【characteristics】-> [ era ]
of 【digital】-> [ digitalization ]
,network and information,【it is a】-> [with the]
database technology as the core of the information age.But with the development of [ the ]
information technology,the airline ticket industry has become highly dependent on the information industry.The rapid development of information technology not only
【make】->[relieves] air ticket workers [of] heavy gradually manual 【labor】->[work],[but also] [improves their]work efficiency,and [ pushes] forward [the] modernization management [of] airline industry.Modern air ticket [industry] also [needs] modern management system.【In】->[ With ] today's increasingly advanced science and technology,people 【pay more attention to travel to travel】-[ are travelling a lot more].Therefore,the airline ticket [industry] on modern management will become particularly important.
Database is the latest technology of data management,and is an important branch of computer science.Today,information resource has become an important 【wealth of】[part for] each department,[and ] 【established】->[the establishment of] a satisfied air ticket information processing 【requirements of effective information system】->[system] has become 【an important condition】[critical for ] airline [company's] development.
[The function of] Airline ticket management system ,【is part of unsold tickets for all sold out and effective management of the ticket】->[aims at an effective management of unsold and sold tickets].Through this system [we ]can not only [make] tickets to 【correspond with】[cater for] the [passengers' needs] and flight condition,and 【may】->[can] at any time add,edit,and delete 【etc】->[the ticket information],[to ] 【make】->[help] the sales staff 【to ticket can】->[with] effectively control and management.Therefore,through the air ticket management system,the airline ticket [industry can improve their] management [in] standardization,systematization,automation,[and] thus greatly improve the efficiency of sales management.