请各位托福牛人帮忙看看这篇托福作文能有多少分 请尽量找茬!

题目

请各位托福牛人帮忙看看这篇托福作文能有多少分 请尽量找茬!
Depending on personal experience,personality type and emotional concern,we find that some people hold the idea that businesses should hire employees for their entire lives meanwhile others do not think so.And I think it is better not to hire people for their whole lives.
Among countless factors come into my mind,I would explore only a few of the most integral ones here.
First of all,an employee is hired for the whole life has no hope to change his or her job.If a diligent person with innate talent is hired by a small company and can never find a new job to show his or her ability and prowess.That would be a giant waste in this urban life as the knowledge is the power.
This is arbitrary to draw a conclusion only to the excuse I mentioned above.It should be also concerned that entire-hiring may lead to free riders.As technology developed and the economy increased,we need lesser manpower to do the same amount of work compared to several years

答案

遣词较灵活,词汇用法较丰富,多少分不知道,但提几点看法1.注意简单的语法错误：take the place of ,compare with,less-lesser,There is a further more subtle point we must attach importance to (is) that the wor...