高分求改考研英语作文.

题目

高分求改考研英语作文.
帮我看下明显的语法错误.另外看下估计可以得多少分.
Protection of Environment
It is symbolically illustrated in the caricature that a bird cried to its lost heaven.In the drawing given,the bird stand on a lone wood,in front of it is a bare forest.The painful bird seems to say,“Where is my home?”
The purpose of this picture is show to us that a problem,immoderate exploit lead to an increasing threat for human beings.Just as an old saying goes,“everything has its seed”.With the reform and opening-up in recent decades in China,Chinese economic levels have obvious improved.However,the economic development is a doubt-edged sword which can exert vital influence on the Chinese society.The earth is our mother,which has seemed to be at death’ door from her illness.A case in point is the natural disasters around the world have significant increased nowadays.
It is my view that it is necessary to take effective measures to improve this situation.First and foremost,the authorities concerned should make laws and regulations so as to have a clear standard of penalty.Furthermore,whole of society should attach crucial importance to cultivate an awareness of protect environment is a vital duty for everyone.Last but not least,China needs to develop low-carbon economy instead conventional industry.Only in this way can we construct a glorious harmonious society.It is high time that we solved the problem.

答案

要是有原版==
Environment Protection
It is symbolically showed in the drawing that the bird cried because it lose its paradise.In the drawing,the bird stand on a lone wood with a large barren land in front it.The painful bird seems to ask,“Where is my home?”
The purpose of this picture is show to us that a problem,immoderate exploit,lead to an increasing threat for human beings.Just as an old saying goes,“everything has its seed”.With the reformation and opening in recent decades,Chinese economic level is obviously improved.However,the economic development is a double-edged sword which can exert Chinese society's vital point.The earth is our mother,now seemed to be at death door from her illness.An example point for this case is the natural disasters we have around the world are increasing significantly nowadays.
In my opinion,it is necessary for us to take effective measures to improve this situation.First and the most important one,the authorities should concerned to make laws and regulations so we can have a clear and standard penalties.Furthermore,the whole society should cultivate environment protection awareness as it's a vital duty for everyone.Last but not least,China need to develop a low-carbon based economy instead conventional industry based economy.Only with this,we can construct a glorious and harmonious society.It is a high time for us to solve this problem.