求英语大神找语病告诉我怎么改

题目

求英语大神找语病告诉我怎么改
When I saw you for the first time , I clearly realized that I was going to stay with you and love you forever . My life journey has been straight and its only turn was because I run across you .Only when your silhouette frequently appear before my eyes did I realize that I really had fallen in with you .Please forgive me for my keeping silence , behind which is my countless missing you .What I only want to tell you is that everything is only because of you and you are the everything .It is the

答案

When I saw you for the first time ,I clearly realized that I was going to stay with you and love you forever .The journey of my life has been straight and it only turned when I run across you .Only when your silhouette frequently appeared before my eyes did I realize that I really had fallen in love with you .Please forgive me for my silence ,behind which is my countless missing for you .What I only want to tell you is that everything is only because of you and you are the everything .
So attractive are you that I felt that I was falling love with you at first sight.你改下 这样太拗口了.
改成You are so attractive that I felt I was falling in love with you at the first sight.
把wall 去掉 多余
I am really shy so that I've kept silence for some time.改成I've kept silence for some time because of my diffidence.
and really miss you,把really 去掉 你的really太多啦
You mean a lot to me,really.really你可以改成definitely 这样可以避免重复