请高手帮我看下这篇托福独立作文能得几分 五分满分

题目

请高手帮我看下这篇托福独立作文能得几分 五分满分
希望能帮我分析的透彻一点 怎么改进 急 我很快就要考了 现在该做什么复习工作
In present-day society, people live in the apartments or the communities, consequently, kind of special social communication-neighborhoods have come to our life. As a Chinese metaphor says “ A far dwelling relative is not as good as a nearby neighbor.” Apparently we can see the importance of a good neighbor. And now I will illustrate a couple of qualities should a superior neighbor have in the following paragraphs.
Respecting and understanding may be the most crucial qualities which a good neighbor should acquire. Basically, they are the fundamental qualities in social communication. Let us assume that if your neighbors even do not respect you, how can you get along with them? A friend of mine has suffered this. His neighbor quarreled with him almost everyday due to some tiny things and they often make a lot of noise when my friend really need some sleep. What a terrible life he has!
Respecting your privacy

答案

1.语法错误太多.包括最基本的单复数,时态动词变换,介词,冠词,连词错误.同时,一些动词的使用不恰当.
2.从结构上讲,文章条理不够清晰,不够analytical,很多论点混在一起.缺乏说服力.
要想多得分,切忌犯最基本的语法错误.需要加强英语基本功.如果自己仔细一点,是可以避免很多.
关于结构,可以看看toefl高分作文.动笔之前,建议你花1分钟列出你的Statement,2到3个arguments和最后的Conclusion.
Toefl作文是八股文,不要试图创新.如果时间允许,可以背几篇范文.照猫画虎的文章往往得高分