请帮我看一下这篇雅思作文能评几分,

题目

请帮我看一下这篇雅思作文能评几分,
Some people insist the belief in which the popular saying 'Spare the rod,spoil the child.' conveys.Others think beating misbehaving kids with any kind of instrument is inhumane and cruel,and doing so would only aggravate the problem.Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
It is universally acknowledged that some children misbehave,and they often cause a lot of trouble to their families; However,this is not a reason for beating them,for the harm that it can do will be well beyond estimate; some people believe that giving misbehaving kids corporeal punishment because they well deserve it for their wrong actions.As far as I am concerned,I completely disagree with the latter opinion.
First and foremost,severe detrimental effects of corporeal punishment have greatly manifested themselves on various types of occasions.As recent investigations demonstrate,kids who suffer from corporeal punishment are more likely to fall victim to depression,and are even prone to committing suicide,while children who are free of the torment of coporeal punishment are much less likely to develop mental disorders than kids who are easily susceptible to the practice.
In the second place,corporeal punishment does not solve the problem,but further worsens the situation.The practice of beating kids with any instrument,such as ferules(戒尺),umbrellas,clubs,or even bottles,mars the emotional bond between kids and their parents,which in turn tears a even greater rift for their harmony and peace of family atmosphere.In my opinion,the practice of beating kids is worse than family violence.
Furthermore,corporeal punishment is contrary to ethics and moral values of contemporary society.It is an outrageous violation of humanitarian principles.It is illegal in many western countries such as the United States,Canada,and Britain.The governments of these countries are well aware of the baneful consequences that corporeal punishment lead to.A statute should be enacted and enforced by the government so that the practice of corporeal punishment will not be as common as it is now.
To sum up,corporeal punishment generates no benefit for improving the manners of children,but instead often results in grim,irrevocable complications in which the parents of the victims sustain pain and remorse.(372 words)

答案

很不错的文章,我不知道你的题目是什么,应该不会偏题,段落清晰,思想明确,语言不错,有足够的词汇量来回答这个问题,只是字数太多了,考试的时候只有40分钟,来不及写得这么长,我看大概有7.5到8分吧