跪谢!剑7 TEST1小作文 求批改
题目
跪谢!剑7 TEST1小作文 求批改
The table illustrates data about consumer expenditure on varied categories in five different countries(Ireland,Italy,Spain,Sweden and Turkey) in 2002.
As we can see in the table that the amount of money spent in three groups was given. More specifically, in these five countries, Food/Drinks/Tobacoo group accounted for the largest part of three sectors. Consumer spending on Clothing/Footwear was consistently jus under 10% while the number of Leisure/Education consumption fluctuated between 1.5% and 5%. In terms of national differences, Italians spent least on food but most on clothing(16.36% and 9.00%,respectively) whilst Turkish consumed most money on food but least on recreation(32.14% and 4.35%,respectively). Similarly, Sweden and Spain consumed least on clothing and leisure (5.4% and 1.98%,respectively). Compared with these countries just mentioned, irish consumer expenditure retain stable at the ordinary level in each group.
Therefore, it can be clear
答案
我也是挣扎中的烤鸭一员,只是说下我的见解,希望互相勉励吧
第一段改写得很好啊,我好喜欢
第二段感觉第一句不太对啊,图标给的是百分比而不是花销的量是吧.
Food/Drinks/Tobacoo group accounted for the largest part of(我想用in是不是好一点呢)the three sectors
还有在说到国家间差异的时候,我不太清楚你是在跟其他国家间对比呢,还是说是国家内部这个数据的对比呢.读起来有点迷糊.
还有..你很久都没有处理你的问题啦,你现在已经考了么?
举一反三
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我想写一篇关于奥巴马的演讲的文章,写哪一篇好呢?为什么好
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