急,马上雅思考试了,求高手批改作文,

题目

急,马上雅思考试了,求高手批改作文,
Some people think computer and internet are important in children’s study,but others think students can learn more effectively in schools and with teachers.Discuss both view and give your own opinion.
The advent of internet and computer play a significant role in children’s study and open up the possibility of distant learning and interacting with each other.Although this practice is embraced by many,others remain unconvinced of its merits.They insist that children can learn more effectively in school with the guidance of teachers.(54)
Those in favor of the’ internet and computer learning’ argue that these should be regarded as a good solution of acquiring knowledge.The internet and computer bring many vivid pictures and educational programs on screen which make the students learn in a vibrant and active way.Moreover,many children benefit from distant learning which not only render them to continue their study whenever and wherever they want but also ensu

答案

6.5左右,句型还是不错的,有用到提分举行,单词量也跟上了,总体讲的在通顺移动一些就会7或7以上.