我的英文求职信,麻烦帮我挑错并提修改意见

题目

我的英文求职信,麻烦帮我挑错并提修改意见
I learned that your company wanted to hire a financial analyst,so I am writing to you bacause I am very interested in the position and competent to meet your requirements.
1.I am experienced in financial investment.I have been working in a consulting firm providing investment advisory to financial institutions for more than 2 years.As a consultant,I have been actively involved in various consulting projects including market scan for investment opportunities,due diligence and study on listed companies.
2.I have strong education background which shows my outstanding learning ability.I holds a master's degree in Management Science & Engineering and a bachelor's degree in Management and Information Systems both from Tsinghua University in Beijing.
3.I have learned a lot of financial knowledge and passed CFA level 1 and level 2 exams in 2008 and 2009 respectively.
I would appreciate your time in reviewing my enclosed resume and if there is any additional information you require,please contact me.I would welcome an opportunity to meet with you for a personal interview.
With many thanks,

答案

楼主很强势,有少数修改意见仅供参考,探讨而已,不足为凭.
1.I learned that your company is going to employ a financial analyst,so I am writing to you because I am very interested in the position and competent to your requirements.
1,want用于无人称主语不是很好,hire不如employ更常用,competent是胜任就无需meet了,意思重复.
2.I have experience in financial investment.I have worked in a consulting firm providing financial institutions with investment advice for more than 2 years.As a consultant,I have been actively involved in various consulting projects such as market scan for investment opportunities,due diligence investigation and study on listed companies.
2,I am experienced我经历了金融投资,比较别扭,不如改为我有……的经验,如想表达经历（不是一次）,那可用复数.Provide……with……是典型的用法.用for more than 2 years就用现在完成时即可,同样表示现在还在这家咨询公司工作；如用完成进行时,那用since 200× 比较好.Due diligence加个investigation意思似乎更清楚一点.
3.I have a strong education background which shows my outstanding learning ability.I hold a master's degree in Management Science & Engineering and a bachelor's degree in Management and Information Systems both from Tsinghua University in Beijing.
3.背景加个不定冠词较好,I是第一人称,hold不应该用单数.
4.I have learned a lot of financial knowledge and passed CFA level 1 and level 2 exams in 2008 and 2009 respectively.
I would appreciate your time in reviewing my enclosed resume and if there is any additional information you require,please contact me.I would welcome an opportunity to meet with you for a personal interview.
With many thanks,