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题目

请高人帮帮修改雅思作文!顺便帮忙看看能得多少分! 悬赏20,全部家底! 多谢各位啦!急啊!
题目：Tourism is seen as a major i ndustry for many countries. However, it tends to ha-ve a deleterious effect on the environment and should be strictly monitored. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
In this day and age, tourism tends to be a growing lucrative industry the world over and even becomes main source of some governments' revenue. Nonetheless, as it aggravates the environment in local area,some people would argue that tourism should be surpervised strictly in order to preserve our vulnerable environment . Personally, I believe that we ought to enhance our regulation and administration in these areas, but not to stringent to keep tabs on their tourists to scare away them.
These years we are witnessing a deteriorating trend in environment and this is partly due to the tourists poor behaviour. To illustrate, some tourists often litter and do as they please in the tourism area regardless of rules there. Furthermore, a host of local authorities construct basic facilities to meet the ever gowing outside population which beyond the local environmental capacity. Therefore, some tourist attraction spot are damaging and even unable to recover. These are but a few obvious situation that should be change.
However, tourism has the potential to bring about more economic benefits and contribute to the local economy. As majority of some governments wealth lies within tourism itself,it would be not appropriate if we carry out rigid regulations, for the number of tourists will diminish as a result of feeling deprived of freedom. What is required of this situation is proper and reasonable management by authorities. The touism department should co-nsider how to best combine economy with environment thereby minimizing the harm to local areas. Besides, tourists feel obliged to become responsible and rational individuals to conserve our unique local environment.
Overall, economy and environment are able to go hand in hand as long as we effectively deal with the relationship between them .

答案

前面有人改和评过了,老实说不敢苟同,可能是因为他们自己的水平还不如你吧?我有点忙,就帮你改第一段吧,因为感觉问题比较多.NOWADAYS (DELETE In this day and age),tourism SEEMS (DELETE tends) to be a growing luc...