帮我看看我的英语作文有哪些问题?请指出并修改!

题目

帮我看看我的英语作文有哪些问题?请指出并修改!
when professor entered the classroom,The words "welcome resume professor"on the blackboard draw professo's attention.
professor had been injured in a car accident,and had had several times operations in the nearby hospital.the doctor calculated the possible of his survival would no more than 10% .now,not only had he recovered but also he could resume teaching.every students was exited when they saw the professor,about many minutes later the class cool down.
这是对一段中文的翻译,其中instant,cool down,draw sb's attentation,injure,resume,calculate,nearby必须要用!
并请帮我打一下分!(以100分为满分)

答案

第一行,when后面加个the,resume有问题,读不过去,可以换成back;第三行,在第一个词professor前加个the,
and had had several times operations in the nearby hospital.改成and he(she)had hadoperations in the nearby hospital several times (前面加个主语,再把状语several times放在句尾;第四行possible不对,改成名词
possibility;第五行缺少谓语动词,would 后面加个be
第六行,teaching少宾语,加个us,teaching us(now,not only had he recovered but also he could resume teaching us这句不好,读起来别扭,建议换别的句子表达)
students应该变成单数,同时they也改成he,cool换成calmed;
直接给老师说不会翻译 不就可以了吗?费这么大劲做什么呀?搞不懂a 55-67分,如果老师比较傻 可能会给你70-75