求一篇幽默英文短文 2分钟左右

题目

求一篇幽默英文短文 2分钟左右
最好能带个中文翻译的
=3=

答案

　　The doctor lives downstairs
　　"Doctor," she said loudly,bouncing into the room,"I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."
　　He surveyed her from head to foot."Madam," he said at length,"I've just three things to tell you.First,your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds.Second,your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick.And third,I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."
　　医生住在楼下
　　“医生”她冲进屋后大声说道.
　　“我想让你坦率地说我到底得了什么病.”
　　他从头到脚打量打量她,然后大声说：“太太,我有三件事要对你说.第一,您的体重需要减少大约50磅；第二,如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口红,您的美貌将会改变.第三,我是一位画家——医生住在楼下.”
　　Advice for "Kid"
　　A bit of advice for those about to retire.If you are only 65,never move to a retirement community.Everybody else is n their 70s,80s,or 90s.So when something has to be moved,lifted or loaded,they yell,"Get the kid."
　　忠告“年轻者”
　　这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告.如果你只有65岁的话,
　　千万别进退休社区.因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了.每当要搬东西,抬东西或者装东西时,他们就叫喊,“让小的干吧.”