英语作文 语法有错我没

题目

英语作文 语法有错我没
My father bought a computer as a birthday present for me last year.It becomes my best friend in my room.I’d like to play on the computer as soon as I get home.At weekends,I often play games on line with my friends.I’ve made a lot of friends on the Intenet.But my eyesight becomes poorer and poorer,

答案

My father bought a computer as a birthday present for me last year.It becomes my best friend in my room.I’d like to play on the computer as soon as I get home.At weekends,I often play games on line with my friends.I’ve made a lot of friends on the Intenet.But my eyesight becomes poorer and poorer,
1 I'd like 是I would like,是想要；愿意,此处改为I like即可
2 eyesight becomes poorer and poorer,应该为eyesight is becoming poorer and poorer因为be becoming是逐渐变得的意思