有谁能帮我批一下我的托福作文吗?最好能给些建议,我是今年的5月16号考托福

题目

有谁能帮我批一下我的托福作文吗?最好能给些建议,我是今年的5月16号考托福
Recently, people are becoming more and more willing to talk about how they solve problems with others .For example, with the easy access to computer technology today ,people can tell others the way they solves problems through the internet. Also there are still many other ways to cope with the problem we encounter. As for me, I have several different kinds of ways to deal with the problems. One way is to ask my parents for help, the second is to ask for help from the internet .Or sometimes I solve the problem myself through constant efforts.
SO the first way I can use to solve the problems is by me because the problems are not very difficult for me to deal with. For example, when I meet with a math problem ,which is not my favorite subject, may be at the first sight I can not work it out ,however ,though my own efforts, I mean that I will spend more time to it and then I can solve it easily. This can give me a lot of precious experience because it is the problem that I solve it by my own.
Another way to is very different from the above/mention way .That is I will ask my parents for help because I believe that my parents are much more experienced than me ,so they can give me some good suggestion about how to cope with the problem. What's more, my parents are the persons who are the most familiar persons for me and they can understand me much better. Based on that their suggestion are more specific and can be very useful.
In addition to solving the problems myself and asking help from my parents ,I can also use the internet to solve the problems. For example ,when I want to get to know some information about where I can get a part/time job ,I can either to send the message online or to search some of the website to find some related information. To solve the problems through internet is the most frequent way I can use to work the problems out. This can not only save me much time but also can let me to solve problems much easier.
In conclusion, I think I have already had the best way to solve problems. And I think the combination of these ways is good when dealing with different types of problems.

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