英语好的麻烦进来看一下

题目

英语好的麻烦进来看一下
living at a boarding school can make their less time-consuming and more economical.
we should not neglect that due to the fact that children are devoid of parental guidance and supervision lead to the rate of crime of the young increasing.
麻烦帮忙挑一下这两处的错误~
第二句 we should not neglect that due to the fact that是不是太罗嗦了？

答案

我说说我的看法哈.
第一句
Living at/in a boarding school can make them——这里要用宾语,不能用their——
第二句
我觉得说成 We cannot neglect the fact that 就可以了吧.而且这句话主谓不一致了,应该是缺少父母的指导和监督 lead to ,而不是 children,有点混乱.
We cannot neglect the fact that lacking of parental guidance and supervision leads to rising crime rates of the young people.
lead to 换成 contribute to 应该也可以.
个人拙见,给你提供参考吧.