100分! 帮忙看下雅思作文有几分啊 语法思路结构用词方面的给些建议 谢谢 （满意后追加20）

题目

100分! 帮忙看下雅思作文有几分啊 语法思路结构用词方面的给些建议 谢谢 （满意后追加20）
IELTS题目:In some countries the average weight of people is increasing andtheir levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the cause of theseproblems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Given reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples fromyour own knowledge or experience.
文章：
Nowadays, many people in some countries witness the increase of average weight which cause the fall of their health levels. Therefore, it is significant for those people to find some effective solutions.There are several reasons for this challengingsituation. This essay will summarise some potential causes and put forward possible solutions.
There are three main potential reasons forit. Firstly, modern lifestyle such as eating too much junk food increase people’sfat. Secondly, many people prefer sitting in the office and facing computers all day without enough outdoor activities, causing negative

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