题目Some people say that government should pay for the health care and education but other people say

题目

题目Some people say that government should pay for the health care and education but other people say that it is not the governments’ responsibility.Discuss the both viewpoints and give your opinion?
Admittedly,there is a growing tendency these days for the government to allocate money to health care and education.Some people criticize that money of the government should not be invested in those areas.However,they are oversimplying the situation.I take the attitude that government should be responsible for education and health care basically.
As authorities collect the tax revenue from taxpayers,government should found and offer valuable services.Therefore,government has an obligation to meet citizens’ need.Especially,education and health care are very necessary in individuals’ daily life.The government’s policies will promote the welfare of all citizens.Moreover,the development of educational and medical has a lasting relationship with whole country,and it requires amount of money and energy,few countries can enhance those services without government’s support.In addition,beyond nations’ healthy and knowledge,a country cannot talk about powerful strength.
So if authorities have got enough disposable income,partly finance need to give priority to invest in education and medical development,thereby improving the quality of population and making contribution to society sustainable development.While as there should be a limited amount of disposable income government is able to spend,as well as the quality of the public services is poor.Then the private organizations are appearing to make up this deficiency for profit.Since the citizens’ incomes are not all handed in the government,we can not call for whole medical and educational services from government.
In conclusion,in term of education and health care,government must pay the fundamental responsibility,for instance,the compulsory education and the lowest medical insurance.And through the private institutions the other services can satisfy the needs of individuals.
帮我看看其中的问题,顺便看看分数能多少···谢谢谢谢····
改得好再加分哦···

答案

Some people say that government should pay for the health care and education but other people say that it is not the governments’ responsibility.Discuss the both viewpoints and give your opinion?
Admittedly,there is a growing tendency these days for the government to allocate money to health care and education(government spending on health and education increased significantl要好一些).Some people criticize that money of(spend by) the government should not be invested in those areas.However,they are oversimplying the situation.I take the attitude that government should be responsible for education and health care basically.(should take the responsibility to heath and education)
As authorities collect(as a part of government incomes) the tax revenue from taxpayers,government should found and offer valuable services.Therefore,government has an obligation to meet citizens’ need(demend).Especially,education and health care are very necessary(vitally important) to us.government policies will promote the welfare of all citizens(welfare benefits will benefit all citizens and also our future generations).Moreover,the development in education and health service has long run influences to our future,and it requires amount of money and energy(it needs huge amount of money and effort to achieve long run investigation),few countries can(could) enhance those services without government’s support.In addition,beyond nations’ healthy and knowledge,a country cannot talk about powerful strength.(without higher education and better health service,countries will not be competitive in the future in all sectors)
So if authorities have got enough disposable income,partly finance need to give priority to invest in education and medical development,by improving the quality of labourforces and making contribution to sustainable development.Simutaneiously there should be a limited amount of disposable income(disposable income is the inome after tax therefore,it's not suitable to use here.better just say government income) government is able to spend,as well as the quality of the public services is poor.Then the private organizations are appearing to make up this deficiency for profit.Since the citizens’ incomes are not all handed in the government,we can not call for whole medical and educational services from government.
In conclusion（to summarise,or to sum up...）,in term of education and health care,government must pay(not pay,should be take) the fundamental responsibility,for instance,the compulsory education and the lowest medical insurance.And through the private institutions the other services can satisfy the needs of individuals.
我觉得要改进的地方还有很多,如果对复杂词汇不熟悉的话,还是尽量用熟悉的词汇,然后构成连惯的句子.文章中有很多连词用的不是很对,还有词的用法也是错的.可能你词汇量是够的,但是语法还是要改进一下.