修改一篇英语作文

题目

修改一篇英语作文
There will be held a public transport week activity for the first time in the city from 16th to 20th ,september,2007.This activity will be held in beijing,shanghai,tianjin and so on .
It was held in about 108 cities at same time .During the activities 's time .the cities call on people to recive the conception of green transport and choose to walk ,by bus ,and by bike when they go out .
I am absolutely voted for the activities in the cities that can make us work and live more green and healthy .People should stop using their cars and star using public transport ,for the roads are too crowded as it is .For one thing ,it can sustainable recovery .For another ,It can also protect our environment .Dear fellow freind.Let's lead a better live .thins is a meanning ful thing.We should do it together and hand in hand .
作文标题是表达对中国城市公共交通周活动的看法.
请指出文中的语法错误 结构错误 以及词汇错误 附上您的建议.

答案

P1 There is[这样会比较好,意思不变,因为接下来还有个地方有相同的意思] a [Public Transport Week ]activity 大写活动/节日名称for the first time in the city from 16th to 20th [September],2007.9月大写.This activity will hold [ 这样就不用2句都采用相同的表达方式]in beijing,shanghai,tianjin and some other cities[ so on ,别人怎么知道接下来是哪里,我觉得最好说清楚]
P2..时态错了 It will be held in about 108 cities at the same time .During the activities 'time .the cities will call on people to get the conception of green transport and choose to walk ,take a bus,or ride the bike when they go out .On one hand it can sustainable recover [ can 是情态动词 ] On the other hand,It also can protect our environment .Dear fellow freind.,Let's create a better life[要用这个词] .,.thins is a meanning ful thing.We should do it together and hand in hand .[这两句是有点多余]
ps ：时态错误比较多哦,建议多看看语法书.
我觉得应该修改的都在文章里该好了 括号里的是原因.