求指导这篇英语演讲.

题目

求指导这篇英语演讲.
尊敬的老师们,下午好!我很高兴站在这里和你们分享我的演讲.我的演讲主题是我的梦想.我的梦想是成为一名好的篮球运动员.
当飞人乔丹再次腾空而起,当科比再次完成他那完美“风车”时,我的心里就有了一份梦想和追求——总有一天,我也能成为一名优秀的篮球运动员,在球场上展翅飞翔,书写自己的梦想!当我在球场上完成那完美的扣篮动作时,所有人都将明白：中国人也能跳!到那时,即使名利双收,我也会把所有的财富用到发展中国的篮球事业上,为民族,为国家,夫复何求?
Good afternoon, respected teachers! I’m very glad to stand here to share my speech with you. My topic is my dream. My dream is to be a good basketball player. When Air Jordan leapt through the air and When Kobe completed his perfect "windmill" again, My heart had a dream and chase------some day I can also become an excellent basketball player, spread my wings to fly in the court, and draw my own dream ! When I finish the perfect slam dunk action ,all the people will realize：Chinese can also jump! At that time, although I can win honor and wealth, I will put all the money into the development of China's basketball career for the nation, for the country, what else could I ask for? That’s all. Thanks for your listening.

答案

Very good. 不过可以考虑把"the topic is my dream" 改下,"The dream of mine" will be better. "Chinese can also lump"改为"Chinese can also fly high"更贴切."My heart had a dream"改为"My heart bust out a dream" 其实已经很不错了.